Memo to the Spanish speaking employees

Este memo, escrito en Inglés solamente se lo gozarán los hispanos que entienden el significado de nuestras expresiones … que nos salen de bien “jondo”, cuando decimos, lo que verdaderamente queremos decir. Este escrito no tiene firma de autor, pero le agradecemos a la amiga Judith de Kissimmee, Florida por su envio. Que se lo vacilen como me lo vacilé yo.


TO : All Spanish-Speaking Employees

FROM : The Chief

SUBJECT: Offensive Language

Several visitors to our office have brought to our attention that our Spanish-Speaking employees commonly use offensive language. Such behavior, in addition to violating firm practices. is highly unprofessional, offensive both to visitors and employees, and will not be tolerated. Therefore, we have decided to implement a series of rules in our office and would expect them to be applied. It is expected that ALL employees immediately adhere to these rules:

1- Words like “coño”, “carajo”, puñeta” and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.

2- Non important matters should not be addressed to as “pendejadas”.

3- You will not say “la cagó” when someone makes a mistake, or “se cagó en su madre”, if you see someone being reprimanded. All forms and derivatives of the word “cagar” are inappropriate in our environment.

4- Lack of determination will not be referred to as “falta de cojones” or “mariconerías”, nor will a person will lack of initiative be referred as “pendejo”, “mamao” or “comemierda”.

5- No Manager or Supervisor, under any circumstances, will be referred to as “hijo de puta”, “ese carbrón”, or “ese maricón”.

6- When a good proposal is presented, the term “ésto está de pinga”, must not be used.

7- Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings will not referred to as “pajas mentales”.

8- Do not say “como jode”, if a person is persistent, or “se jodió” if somebody is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say, “qué jodienda” or “ésto está del coño”, when matters become complicated in your line of work.

9- When asking someone to leave you alone, you should not say “vete pal carajo”, nor you will substitute “¿qué carajo quieres?” for “may I help you?”.

10- When leaving the office, using the term “me voy pal carajo” is not proper.

11- When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as “it broke down”, not “se descojonó” or “se jodió la mierda ésta”.

12- Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please, do not say “me voy a limpiar el culo con ésto” . Just keep it clean and file properly.

Thank you for your cooperation,

The Chief



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